Why Do Bilingual Kids Answer In English ? (Even when they understand you)

Why Do Heritage Speakers ANsWer In English?

If you’re a parent raising your child in a bilingual or multilingual household, you may have noticed a puzzling pattern: even though your child understands your native language perfectly well, they often respond in English. It’s a common and sometimes frustrating experience for many families. But rest assured—it’s not a sign of rejection, laziness, or disinterest. It’s a natural part of growing up bilingual in an English-dominant environment.

Here are some key reasons why heritage-speaking children tend to answer in English:

1. English Feels Easier
Children are immersed in English at school, with peers, on screens, and in books. Even if they understand your language, English quickly becomes their dominant and most comfortable language for output. Speaking requires confidence in vocabulary, grammar, and pronunciation—skills that are honed daily in English.

2. They Associate Languages with Contexts
To many children, languages serve different "functions." For example, English may feel like the “school and outside world” language, while the heritage language feels like the “home and family” language. Responding in English may feel more natural when discussing topics like school, TV shows, or social media, even if the conversation started in your native language.

3. They May Be Afraid Of Making Mistakes
Kids can be self-conscious, especially as they get older. If they feel unsure about how to correctly form a sentence in your language, they may prefer to stick to English where they feel more confident. This is especially true if they haven’t had formal instruction or consistent exposure in speaking and grammar.

4. Peer Pressure and the Desire to Fit In
Even the most culturally connected child wants to feel like they "belong." If their friends only speak English, it can reinforce the idea that English is the “cool” or “normal” language, while the heritage language feels “different.” They might internalize the idea that English is for “everyone” and the heritage language is only for family.

5. They Know You Understand English
Let’s be honest—kids are practical! If they know you understand English, they may not feel the need to make the extra effort to speak the heritage language. Why struggle to find a word in your native language when they know they’ll be understood in English?

What Can Parents Do?
The good news is that this isn’t a lost cause. Children who answer in English are still active bilinguals, and with encouragement and exposure, they can grow more confident using their heritage language.

Try these strategies
- Keep using your language with them, even if they answer in English.
- Encourage them gently to answer back in the heritage language—without shaming or correcting mid-sentence.
- Create authentic opportunities for speaking (playdates, classes, storytelling, travel, cultural events).

Celebrate their progress, even if it's small ("Great job using that word in Spanish!").

Enroll them in structured classes that focus on speaking and confidence-building.

Bottom line? If your child is answering in English, they’re not rejecting your language—they’re navigating two worlds. With time, support, and consistency, they can find pride and confidence in speaking both.